Unmasking Care: Intro

Why this?

Hosted by Carlen Knight, a trauma- informed, neurodiverse and ND affirming parent and therapist; Unmasking Care invites honest conversations about what it means to raise children whose needs defy easy answers.

I decided to start a blog, and eventually a podcast because I want to reach more families than my time and geography allows. As a deeply compassionate person and Occupational Therapist raising neurodiverse kids myself with a ND wife, I have often arrived at the clinic feeling like I’ve emerged from a battlefield of sorts before I start my day. Other days, we’ve managed to move through the morning with peace and ease and often the only difference has been something no one has been able to put their finger on. I see the families, the fatigue and distress, and I understand that often the needs of our children defy logic and certainly easy answers and I have often sat on the other side, being the parent getting judged for my child’s needs or behaviour. So often, we are showing up day after day, managing our own trauma, doing our best to break the cycle for our own kids. This internal battle that is unseen and often unheard that feels like a tug of war between the needs of our kids, our own and that of our partner or even the rest of the world. The extended family or friends who don’t get it and judge us and our kids harshly while giving unsolicited advice, because, of course, they know better despite not having lived our life. The isolation this brings. Or the doctor, who is isn’t willing to have our child in the room because of the behaviour, yet is more than willing to tell us to “just say no, it’s your parenting that’s the problem”. Like we never tried that!

The heaviness that this brings, a heaviness we aren’t supposed to name but is called grief. Holding both grief and love in our hearts, we wouldn’t choose a different kid and it isn’t any easier knowing that.

I see you and I hear you.